A Drunk Postman-Interview


1. Oh no! Not you again! I suppose you should tell us what your name is and what you do, now you’re here.

 Me again?  Ha ha!  It’s taken me MONTHS to get my 15 seconds of fame in Wolf’s blog.  I didn’t get interviewed for Akuza’s version either.

I’m Marcus.  My official title is Operation Assistant but that’s just a fancy word of saying I’m a shelf stacker.  I work at Homebase.

2. What are your thoughts on the cheevo system; Do you like collecting them and how could they be improved? Should gamers be rewarded with IRL prizes for their GS?

 I’ve always wondered when people say “it gives extra replayability value” in the various topics that sprout on OXF; if that’s the case then how the hell did you play games pre-2005 before the achievement was invented?  As far as I’m concerned, if a game is good enough then I will go back to it and play it again and again.  I don’t need a virtual point system to motivate me into playing it again.

The only thing I’d probably add to improve the system is to abolish online achievements simply because they encourage boosting and also because silvers and people who aren’t connected to Live won’t get a full 1000/1000 out of the game they spent 40 quid on.

3. Pineapple and ham pizza is obviously the best pizza evar. If you disagree with this statement, could you possibly explain what you would prefer and why?

 *makes retching sounds*  Eurgh!  Pineapple and ham pizza!  I haven’t had P&H pizza in years.  I was put off it for life when I was younger due to the fact my mum ALWAYS bought them when she went to Sainsbury’s.

I haven’t really got a favourite Pizza topping.  I’ll eat anything which isn’t P&H or plain cheese and tomato.  Back when I lived in Germany in the 1990’s, there was this little pizzeria near where I lived and they did this pizza with sliced boiled egg on it.  It was called “Apollo 13” and it was delicious.  I’d kill to have one of those again although the pizzeria has probably been turned into a Dominos or some other crappy chain pizza place.

4. I’ve been around the block a few times, I had a SNES and a Megadrive; What do you like about the 360 when compared to it’s rivals and why did you decide to go with Microsoft (feel free to mention any other consoles)?

I got my 360 in Feb 2008.  When I did (not 100% sure on this) the PS3 either hadn’t been released or it cost 450 quid.  Before that I had a PS2.  I wanted to move with the times and decided to get the only next-gen console out at the time or the only reasonably priced one, the 360. 

5. I recently witnessed Fulham beating Juventus 4-1 at Craven Cottage, do you like any sports and if so, who are your sporting heroes?

 I’ve kind of lost interest in football.  It started to dwindle when Ambrovich bought Chelsea and started to buy every player in the world.  I still keep up with the stuff in the news but I can’t seem to watch more than a half of football.  I turn on the Xbox or change the channel at half-time and forget to turn it back once half-time is over.  I used to love Ryan Giggs when I was a kid though.  I used to have a football shirt with his name on the back.

Recently I’ve got into the NFL and have been trying to get into NHL too but since I haven’t got ESPN America, that’s quite hard.

6. Come on, everyone wants to know; what’s better MW2 or BFBC2? (If you’ve not played either of these or think they’re rubbish, what’s your favourite shooter on the 360?)

 Well according to 90% of people on OXF they’re “two completely different games”.  I’m not so sure.  I mean, you’re not comparing Viva Pinata to Manhunt are you?  They’re different yes, but I wouldn’t call them “completely different”.  I’m sure someone would disagree with me on this.

It all depends on what kind of game you like.  If you’re into the run ‘n gun, no thought required then MW2 is the best.  But if you like having to think a little before you make a move or want to Kamikaze the enemy team in a helicopter then go for BF: BC2.

I think my favourite shooter is the mighty Call of Duty 4.

7. Kanye West seems to be a bit of a helmet; If you were going to have your award acceptance speech ruined by anyone, who would it be and what would your award be for?

 The only “award” I’ve ever won in my life, the kind which I had to get up and receive in assembly, was a 100% attendance certificate that I got in Year 11.

I’d love to have Darth Vader interrupt my acceptance speech.  Or maybe Samuel L. muthaf*ckin’ Jackson.  That would be epic win and I wouldn’t be annoyed.  No idea what the award would be for though – Best Male Porn Actor maybe?  Ha ha!

8. I’m quite fond of the Xbox forums. What do you think about them as a whole, how could they be improved and how much time do you spend there?

 I spend far too much time on the forums.  I just tend to go with the flow.  To improve the forums I’d ban anyone who karnt tipe in proppa english, blud.  Never understood why people use text speak on an Internet forum, unlike in a text message, you’re not limited for space.

9. Last weekend I watched 4 (four) Harry Potter films; Are you a film/TV fan and if so, what are your favourites?

 I love watching movies.  Don’t watch much TV any more.  Mainly because when I want to watch it, there’s nothing decent on apart from Strictly Come Dancing On The Ice or the latest dross presented by Ant and Dec.

I watched Kill Bill vol.1 the other day.  I’m pretty sure people said it was a martial arts movie when it was released but I thought it was just a glorified hack ‘n slash.  Films with Jackie Chan and Jet Li are martial arts movies.  I think it’s just cos its a Tarantino film that people think it’s good.  After all, Pulp Fiction and Reservoir Dogs are awesome.

My favourite film is Clerks.  A lot of people I speak to have never heard of it let alone seen it.  It doesn’t have the acting master-class of The Godfather films (De Niro, Pacino, Brando) or the special effects of Avatar but it’s one of the funniest films ever made (in my opinion of course).  Much funnier than the crap that Wilson, Vaughn, Ferrell, and Stiller churn out, mainly because it’s believable.  How many times do you see a real person scream and cry like Will Ferrell does in A LOT of his movies?

10. Everyone knows that the British do comedy better than anyone; What’s the best comedy evar?

 Where do I start?  Porridge, Fawlty Towers, BlackAdder, Mr Bean, Only Fools and Horses, Father Ted even though that’s not British, The Two Ronnies, Open All Hours, etc.  I prefer the classic stuff over the modern stuff like The Office which I didn’t find funny.

11. You recently changed your Gamertag. Why did you do that then?

 I just felt it was time for a change.  My old GT (Mutant Dead Man) had come to me when I was in a “Left 4 Dead rocks” phase.  Unfortunately, that phase only lasted about 3 weeks before I got bored of the game.  I stuck with the GT for nearly a year before deciding to change it.

I got the idea for my current one when I had a vision of Postman Pat after drinking one too many on a SUNDAY night down the pub and waking up with a stonking hangover and having to deliver the post on the Monday…  A Drunk Postman.

12. This has been fun, do you have anything you’d like to add?

 Thanks for finally getting round to interviewing me.  I hope I didn’t prattle on too much.  I had some fun answering the questions.

Categories: Interviews

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