It’s a little known historical fact that the American revolution was supported, and mostly won, by witches whose magic was capable of turning the entire tide of war. It’s a shame that the history books so rarely mention these brave folk who wielded arcane forces, yet their sacrifices for the cause were great. I mean, who else could possibly have dealt with the fact that Paul Revere was actually a werewolf? It is these facts that are so stupidly kept from our children in school in favor of teaching them utter rubbish like maths. Who the hell even uses maths!?