As a Scotsman born and raised, there is no fate I would dread more than being cursed to play the game of golf forever. And yet this is the premise of Cursed to Golf, a roguelike 2D recreation of the sport where you have to work your way through 18 holes of golf purgatory, having been cast down there due to being struck by lightning during a golf tournament. I have no idea if this is a common occurrence during golf, but if it is I might actually start watching the sport. So, is Cursed to Golf a hole in one, or a bogey? Let’s find out.
There’s no risk of confusing Mario Golf: Super Rush for the real-world sport of golf. Luigi turning the green into a patch of ice makes that fairly clear, as does the giant bomb trying to putt. The vibrant colours, the sparkling special shots, Bowser hammering a ball toward the green – nope, this ain’t your granddaddy’s golf. This is arcadey golf. And yet…well, I can’t help but think Mario Golf: Super Rush doesn’t want to commit properly to its goofy looks and whacky characters. For a game that involves a giant bloody ape swinging a tiny golf club, Super Rush sure doesn’t like to step out of its comfort zone.