It’s the first weekend after the madness of Christmas! I hope everyone reading this had a hell of a time, regardless of how you chose to spend it. Me? I had a good one filled with family and good food. But I also seem to have picked up a cold from somewhere, so right now I’m huddled up in a dressing gown and yelling at anyone who isn’t bringing me Lemsips.
Welcome, my dear readers, to the top 10 games of 2018, spanning Xbox One, PS4 and PC. This is the year I’ll always remember as the time EA declared that nobody was interested in single player games anymore. It was a stupid thing to say at the time, but a slew of fantastic single player games has made EA look even more absurd. Indeed, all round it has been a superb year for games regardless of the platform you play on.
My five-year old niece has now reached the point of reminding me how many sleeps there are until Christmas, and all I can think about is how the sight of Christmas decorations makes me angry BECAUSE IT’S STILL NOVEMBER, YOU ~£@££! PIECES OF @!=*$%^! I love Christmas, but I swear in September there were stores putting Christmas themed stuff out and Halloween hadn’t even been and gone. What the hell?
So far I’ve knocked out people with a fish, a brick of cocaine, a thrown apple and a variety of blunt objects. I’ve also drowned people in toilets, blown them up with fireworks, fed them poisoned chips, shoved them off cliffs, dropped sharks on them, squashed them with speakers and so much more. I’ve dressed as a waiter, a garbage man, security, a fast food vendor, a servant, a racing driver, a doctor and even a pink flamingo. It’s all just in a days work for a professional Hitman.
It’s the weekend yet again, and that can only mean that time is passing way too damn fast and that we’re all hurtling towards our undignified ends like a runaway truck that’s on fire.