There’s a moment in John Wick after the titular badass has decimated several attackers who made the idiotic mistake of invading his home. With bodies littering the floor and blood soaking into the carpet, Wick makes a call to contacts from his previous life. Minutes later, a clean-up crew arrives to drag the corpses away and freshen the place up. It’s the job of unsung heroes (?) and has frequently made me question if such a thing exists in other action movies. How often do we see a building full of bodies left behind after an action sequence? Surely they don’t just get left there, right? Even in real life, do the mob have cleanup crews that hide the evidence? According to Serial Cleaners, the answer is yes, and they’re so damn good at their job they can even clean up a crime scene while the cops are are busy investigating it.
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Shredder’s Revenge is kind of like a remaster, remake and entirely new game, all at the same time. It takes stages, ideas and other elements from the classic TMNT arcade games and mashes them together with some modern sensibilities. It’s like asking the pizzeria to take all the possible toppings and throw them on the pizza, but instead of some hideous gloopy mess that tastes like Master Splinter’s backside, you end up with a great pie. Cowabunga, dudes!
Going through the cave was probably a mistake. War was declared and by the suggestion of the King’s right-hand sorcerer, the shining paragon of heroism, Brigard, took his forces through a cave system in a bid to surprise the enemy, but a cave-in leaves the army stranded underground with no hope of rescue. Salvation appears in the form of a Valkyrie who descends from the heavens to inform Brigard and his loyal soldiers that they are dying and that she is here to lead them to the promised land. Instead, you all get trapped in Terragaya, neither dead nor alive but somewhere in the middle. The solution is to find the Guardian, solve the mystery of your alleged death and maybe get the lyrics to I’ve Got Soul But I’m Not A Soldier by The Killers out of your head. Or is that just me?
Ye olde London was not a nice place. Grime, dirt and detritus covered the streets, smog hung in the air, hygiene was more of a myth than reality and people disappeared on a fairly regular basis due to being pressganged, walking down the wrong alley, drunkenly stumbling into the ocean or any number of delightfully degrading deaths,. Living day to day was a hardship for the common people, made all the harder by the absurd cost of meat. But…humans are meat, right? Seems like a prime business opportunity. Cue the Ravenous Devils, Hildred and Percival, and their lives of butchery and business management.
Being a relative Nintendo noob, my experience of Kirby has been solely limited to Super Smash Bros. where his ability to suck characters into himself has been the bane of my existence. But with the game releases being fairly quiet at the moment, what better time to experience Kirby than now, especially since his newest adventure, Kirby and the Forgotten Land, is his first fully 3D adventure! Can Kirby hang with the greats like Mario, Luigi and Link? Or has he bitten off more than he can chew?
We live in an age of remakes, remasters and re-releases. It allows whole new audiences to explore games from a different generation or can breathe new life into a cult classic. But it also means we often end up seeing some very odd re-releases and ports as companies attempt to squeeze out a little more money from their games, and Quest for Infamy certainly feels like one of those odder choices. First released on the PC back in 2016, Quest for Infamy is a successor of sorts to the old Quest for Glory titles, a blend of point and click puzzling and RPG mechanics. Now, Quest for Infamy brings its love of those largely forgotten games to the Nintendo Switch, Playstation and Xbox.
Halloween may have already passed in a sugar-induced blur but that doesn’t mean I can’t talk about spooky stuff, right? Sunshine Manor is actually a prequel to 2016’s Sunshine Camp, although you don’t need to have played that. It has all the hallmarks of a creepy good time: a weird mansion, a mystery to solve, some demons and even a cult! It’s all wrapped up in a rather nice visual style, too, that harkens back to the 8-bit days. Hell, it even has a dog you can pet! What more could you possibly want?
It’s another episode of the podcast that has absolutely zero consistent release schedule. This time I cover the games I’m playing plus some news, so here the notes I take and then use when recording and the podcast itself.
Probably my favourite moment in UnMetal came when sneaking through a screen full of sleeping guard dogs. My stench was visibly wafting across the screen, alternating between going straight up and straight down. The goal was, of course, to carefully weave through the deadly mutts without my horrific, sewer-drenched clothes waking them up. But on my second attempt, I thought of something: I went to the inventory and equipped the thermal suit I had previously used to pass by thermal sensors. To my surprise and delight, the suit contained my reek and I was able to amble through the dogs. Was this just some bug, or had the lone developer really considered that I might stick the suit on? I think it’s the latter, because this is a seriously well-designed game.
These days it’s like you can’t walk down the street without tripping over a bunch of cyberpunk games, from the high-profile cock-ups to a host of indie games that range in quality and scope. Foreclosed is the latest cyberpunk game stepping up, hoping that it’s mix of third-person shooting and stealth, along with a striking art style, will be enough to grab your attention. It’s certainly releasing at the right time – we’re in a bit of a drought when it comes to big, shiny new games, giving the small stuff a chance to shine. But I’m saddened to report that Foreclosed suffers from good ideas but crappy execution.