There’s a moment in John Wick after the titular badass has decimated several attackers who made the idiotic mistake of invading his home. With bodies littering the floor and blood soaking into the carpet, Wick makes a call to contacts from his previous life. Minutes later, a clean-up crew arrives to drag the corpses away and freshen the place up. It’s the job of unsung heroes (?) and has frequently made me question if such a thing exists in other action movies. How often do we see a building full of bodies left behind after an action sequence? Surely they don’t just get left there, right? Even in real life, do the mob have cleanup crews that hide the evidence? According to Serial Cleaners, the answer is yes, and they’re so damn good at their job they can even clean up a crime scene while the cops are are busy investigating it.
Since 2016, Blackmill has been putting out World War 1 based shooters. Verdun and Tannenburg have both tried to provide a somewhat authentic experience of the warfare of the time, pitting teams of players against each other using period weapons. For this third entry, the developers chose the Italian front, specifically an area of the Isonzo river which was the only feasible place for the Italians to attack the Austro-Hungarian forces which had fortified the mountainous region. Half of the Italian’s war casualties would occur in this small area as they attempted to overcome the core problem they faced; to cross the river they needed to eliminate the Austro-Hungarian defenders but to eliminate the defenders they needed to cross the river.
The massive monstrosity that is the Embracer Group continues to gobble up more and more developers and intellectual properties, and regardless of how you feel about that one good thing has come of it; a willingness to mine their extensive catalogue via remasters and remakes, many of which seem to designed to test whether there’s an audience for a brand new game. In 2020, Black Forest released their remake/remaster of Destroy All Humans, a cult classic from the Playstation 2 days where you played as an alien invading Earth. Now, the much-beloved sequel has gotten the same treatment from Black Forest, making me wonder if we might finally get to see Destroy All Humans 3. That’s the future, though – let’s focus on the here and now; is Destroy All Humans 2: Reprobed still fun in 2022 and has Black Forest done it justice?
As a Scotsman born and raised, there is no fate I would dread more than being cursed to play the game of golf forever. And yet this is the premise of Cursed to Golf, a roguelike 2D recreation of the sport where you have to work your way through 18 holes of golf purgatory, having been cast down there due to being struck by lightning during a golf tournament. I have no idea if this is a common occurrence during golf, but if it is I might actually start watching the sport. So, is Cursed to Golf a hole in one, or a bogey? Let’s find out.
Two Point Campus is built on the very same foundations that the excellent Two Point Hospital was. In fact, it does feel a lot like Two Point Games slapped a new theme on their hospital management game and called it a day. That’s an oversimplification, of course – a lot of work has gone into Two Point Campus, it’s themes and a few new mechanics. But it’s important to temper your expectations going into this second entry in the growing Two Point County universe because if you do then you’ll discover another satisfying, enjoyable management title with plenty of fun changes under the hood. If you want the shortest possible review, then here it is in all of its cliched glory: if you liked Two Point Hospital, you’ll probably like Two Point Campus.
I’m not a cat person but I can’t deny how fascinating they are. They are creatures of contradictions, leaping from one behaviour to the next like a bipolar sufferer on a freaking pogo stick. One minute they are affectionate and loving, the next they want to murder your face and burn down your house. They can be fiercely independent and willing to completely ignore your existence, and then two minutes later they become needy little bastards who won’t even let you go to the bathroom alone. They’re astonishing, they really are. And now a cat is a star of this fantastic new indie title called Stray that has taken the Internet by storm, mostly because of people posting videos showing their own cat entranced by their digital facsim
Thrustmaster is a venerable name in the gaming space, purveying all manner of racing wheels, joysticks and accessories. At an RRP pf £299.99, the Thrustmaster T248 racing wheel is the company’s latest entry-level model, and it’s in for a tough fight for the podium. That price bracket includes a lot of cool wheels, including my own Logitech G290 0which I’ll be comparing it against quite heavily. And with the release of the new F1 2022, what better time to consider grabbing a wheel and seeing how quickly you can smash into Lewis Hamilton?
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Shredder’s Revenge is kind of like a remaster, remake and entirely new game, all at the same time. It takes stages, ideas and other elements from the classic TMNT arcade games and mashes them together with some modern sensibilities. It’s like asking the pizzeria to take all the possible toppings and throw them on the pizza, but instead of some hideous gloopy mess that tastes like Master Splinter’s backside, you end up with a great pie. Cowabunga, dudes!
This foray into the bug extermination by Slitherine isn’t based on the original book that was published in 1959. Hell, the fact that there even was a book will probably surprise a lot of people. I’m glad that developer Artistocrats chose to focus on the movie, though, because while I do usually hold that films based on books are typically inferior to their source material, in this instance I firmly believe the movie to be vastly superior to the pen and paper version. Plus, the movie is far more commonly known, although as much of a cult following as it has, the Starship Troopers name doesn’t have huge appeal. When I was a kid, Starship Troopers was a goofy, gory action flick, but as I grew up and rewatched it I started to notice its tongue-in-cheek humour and its emphasis on war propaganda. It’s a great movie and you should absolutely go and watch it. Although you certainly don’t need to have seen the film to enjoy this tight, fun little RTS, without the context the movie provides you might be left wondering if the game is being completely serious or if it’s taking the mickey. It’s the second one, in case you didn’t figure it out.
The world’s foremost socially distancing testicle surgeon is back to ensure there will never be any Nazi offspring. Yes, it’s Sniper Elite 5, a double-A series that has, over the years, somehow managed to sneak its way into my heart. Although they may be janky, there’s a charm and sense of fun to the Sniper Elite series that makes it hugely endearing. And having absorbed even more of the Hitman vibe, Sniper Elite 5 is, in many ways, the best one yet. But there are a few badly aimed shots, too. So grab a rifle, zero in the scope, take a deep breath and….grab a cup of coffee. And put the rifle back down, you’ll take someone’s testicles out with that thing. Yeesh.