Sometimes it’s fun to change gear and write about something else for a change, and Scream holds a special place in my dark heart. Like so many other people, Scream is the movie that got me into horror. I picked up the original three movies in Asda on a whim, and it sparked a love for the genre. Since then, I’ve seen every movie multiple times, so Scream 7 was an exciting prospect for me, even despite the many controversies leading up to its release.

There was a time when the Scream series felt untouchable. Ever since Scream hit cinemas and gleefully tore apart the rules of slasher movies, the franchise has managed to walk a clever tightrope. It was both a horror series and a commentary on horror series. It was a slasher series where the characters were gleefully aware of horror movie conventions, and yet it itself was something of a generic slasher series.

Even when the films stumbled—looking at you, Scream 3—they still had ideas. They tried things. Sometimes those things worked, sometimes they absolutely did not, but at least they felt like someone was swinging for the fences. Well, slashing at the victims, at any rate.

Scream 7 is strange because it doesn’t really swing at all. It’s like a lazy Ghostface, idly jogging after a victim and occasionally taking a swipe with all the passion of someone contemplating even more fucking jogging. My distaste of jogging might be bleeding through here.

The movie isn’t terrible. It’s competently made, occasionally entertaining, and even has a couple of interesting ideas floating around. But for the first time in the series, it feels completely content to simply exist as another slasher sequel. And when a franchise built on self-awareness stops having anything to say, you start to realise just how ordinary it really is.

Right from the start, Scream 7 leans hard into nostalgia. The original Woodsboro house has been turned into an Airbnb for anyone with a fascination for the Stab movies or Sidney’s traumatic past, old faces pop up here and there, and the film is packed with little nods to earlier entries. The movie almost invites you to sit there pointing at the screen like Leonardo DiCaprio. “Hey, I remember that!” When the original murder house is burned down, it’s almost like the film is saying it wants to burn the past. But it isn’t. It wants to live in the past, to revel in it, to embrace the safety of what came before even as Scream 6 finally started to move the franchise forward into a world without Sidney.

In theory, the film is actually aware of this. There’s an idea floating around in the background about nostalgia and how people obsess over the past. The series has always liked poking at the media culture surrounding horror, so examining the way audiences cling to the original Scream could have been interesting.

The problem is that the movie also can’t stop indulging in that nostalgia itself. It wants to comment on the phenomenon while simultaneously using it as a selling point. It’s a bit like complaining about junk food while eating a family-sized bag of crisps.

Still, one piece of nostalgia actually works surprisingly well. The film teases the return of Stu Macher, the original Ghostface accomplice, once again played by Matthew Lillard.

Considering the internet has spent about twenty years insisting Stu somehow survived a television being dropped on his head, you might expect the film to drag that mystery out for a while, right?

Instead, Scream 7 gets it out of the way fairly quickly. Stu pops up early on, appearing via video call to Sidney and immediately reminding us why he’s still the most memorable Ghostface alongside Billy Loomis.

A reminder here: this is a spoiler-filled review, so Stu isn’t secretly alive. The killer is simply using AI-generated footage and manipulated recordings to make it appear like he is. It’s all part of a plan to mess with Sidney Prescott and drag her back into the nightmare she thought she’d escaped.

Honestly, I kind of appreciate that the movie doesn’t waste much time pretending Stu is really back. Bringing him back for real would have been opening a door that Scream should probably avoid. When death starts becoming optional, that’s fine for certain types of story, but I’m not sure I want Scream to step through that door.

What I mean by pretending is that while the movie doesn’t confirm it’s AI until closer to the end, it’s like the script never really tries to sell the audience on Stu being alive. It makes it obvious. He only ever appears via phone call, never in person. Multiple characters openly talk about it probably being a trick or AI, and both Sidney and the returning Gale Weathers are never convinced that it’s really him.

This way the film gets its nostalgia hit without completely snapping the logic of the original movie in half. And even in this limited form, Matthew Lillard still manages to inject some manic energy into the character. Which is impressive considering he basically phoned the performance in. Literally.

The AI angle itself is actually a decent idea. The series has always reflected the technology of its time. The original Scream leaned into the terror of anonymous phone calls, while Scream 4 explored internet fame and livestream culture. Using AI manipulation and deepfakes as the next step feels like a natural progression. In a modern setting, how would people abuse AI? What horrors could be inflicted by virtually raising the dead?

Unfortunately, Scream 7 doesn’t really do anything with the concept. AI exists purely as a plot device to justify fake videos and creepy voice recordings. The movie never actually explores the idea or comments on it in any meaningful way. It just sort of shrugs and says, “AI did it.” For a series all about meta-commentary, it sure doesn’t have much to say.

It also doesn’t make a whole lot of sense if you think about it too hard. Somehow the killer has enough footage of Stu to create convincing AI-generated appearances decades after his death. It’s one of those moments where you can almost hear the script waving its hands in the air while hoping nobody asks too many questions. Bluntly, it’s somebody throwing AI into the script who doesn’t understand it, but does know it’s the top topic.

Still, even with those issues, the Stu stuff is probably the most entertaining thread running through the film. Which unfortunately makes the actual Ghostface reveal feel even more underwhelming.

The main killer turns out to be Jessica Bowden, Sid’s neighbour who developed a parasocial obsession with Sidney after reading her book. In her mind, Sidney isn’t just a survivor—she’s a personal hero, almost like a celebrity figure who helped her through a dark time. When Sidney disappears from the public spotlight, Jessica can’t handle it.

Her solution is… interesting, if a bit ridiculous. She plans to murder Sidney in front of her daughter in order to create a new traumatised survivor. Essentially a twisted attempt to manufacture a “Sidney 2.0”.

It’s not the worst idea on paper. Parasocial relationships and celebrity obsession are definitely things the series could explore. Hell, we touched on it a little with Scream 4 when Sid’s own niece wanted some of that celebrity status. The problem is that the movie never really develops the idea beyond that basic explanation. The character has no meaningful connection to Sidney beyond admiration, which makes the reveal feel oddly distant compared to some previous Ghostface motivations.

Her accomplice, an AI expert whose name I can’t even remember, doesn’t fare much better. His reveal lands with all the dramatic impact of someone reading out a Wi-Fi password. I genuinely had to Google his name (it’s Marco, apparently) and could tell you nothing else about him, except that Gale Weathers, a supposed journalist, should have been a bit more suspicious about a mental asylum employee gleefully handing out information like it’s a public bloody library.

For a series famous for memorable killer reveals, this one is shockingly bland. I think it’s genuinely the worst Ghostface reveal. The number one, of course, being Doofy Gilmore in Scary Movie.

One genuinely interesting idea arrives when a third Ghostface gets taken out midway through the film, a first for the series. Normally the killers survive until the final act so they can do their dramatic reveals and monologue a little bit while conveniently giving our heroes time to get their shit together. So seeing one of them get abruptly killed should shake up the formula and create the sense that the plan is falling apart.

It’s a fun concept, but the execution is a little weird. The character is portrayed as a genuinely intimidating Ghostface just minutes earlier, hiding in the attic and stalking his prey. It’s actually a fun sequence, including a cool wall-stabbing scene as Sid and her daughter attempt to escape the house.

But then he suddenly gets taken out in a fairly unceremonious fashion by an arriving Gale Weathers in an SUV. The idea itself is solid, but the moment doesn’t quite land the way it probably should have. That was probably the idea, though—to shock the audience with his sudden demise. I was expecting him to have disappeared when they go to check the body, but nope, he’s dead.

This sudden life-deletion service via delivery driver, AKA Gale, also heralds the arrival of the twins from Scream 5 and Scream 6, who have now decided to go into the content business for… er, reasons. Mindy and Chad are actually pretty fun returns, even if they don’t actually have much to do in the movie outside of what is now a running joke about them getting stabbed or sliced every movie and still surviving. Uncle Randy would be proud. Well, not so proud of Mindy, who has still yet to successfully guess a killer’s identity.

The supporting cast doesn’t help matters much either. One of the strengths of the earlier films was the friend group dynamic. You needed a colourful set of suspects and victims because the entire movie revolves around the mystery of who Ghostface might be.

Here, most of the secondary characters barely register. In fact, I realised a few days after watching the film that I couldn’t remember the names of most of them. That’s not a great sign. Hell, one of them is just constantly referred to as the creepy kid, although I do appreciate him getting the most colourful kill in the entire movie.

They’re basically corpses who just haven’t died yet. Not that unusual for a slasher movie, I suppose, but that lack of memorable characters makes the mystery aspect feel weaker than usual. If you don’t care about the suspects, the reveal doesn’t carry much weight. Of course, it wouldn’t have mattered anyway since the killer was never part of that circle.

Perhaps the strangest thing about Scream 7, though, is its deliberate step away from the kind of meta-commentary that defined the series. Apparently this was intentional, which makes it an even more baffling decision.

The whole identity of the franchise was built around that idea. The original Scream wasn’t just a slasher movie—it was a slasher movie that analysed the genre itself. Without that layer, the series becomes exactly what it once parodied: a long-running horror franchise that keeps dragging itself back from the grave.

Now with added nostalgia, except the nostalgia is for itself because it has been around for so long.

That’s the weird paradox the film finds itself in. It still references horror culture and its own history, but it doesn’t really have anything new to say about it. That’s the problem when your franchise becomes big enough to be the meta it was trying to be meta about.

At least Neve Campbell remains reliably good as Sidney Prescott. She still brings a grounded intensity to the role, and it’s easy to see why the filmmakers hit the emergency button and brought her back into the spotlight. And I have to admit that as much as I’m poking fun on the reliance on nostalgia, it warms my heart to see Sid back on screen, being a badass. At this point, any Ghostface going after is just choosing death by Sid.

The film also introduces Sidney’s daughter, Tatum, who actually ends up being one of the more interesting characters in the movie. The divide between her and her mother feels very artificial, relying on Sid not wanting to discuss her trauma, but I can just about buy into it. And I appreciate the idea that by trying to shield her from the horrors, Sid has actually left Tatum unprepared for a Ghostface assault.

If the series continues, Tatum could probably carry the franchise just fine. Which ironically makes the decision to drag Sidney back into the centre of the story feel even more like a panic move.

Point is, I’m down with Tatum taking over the role of Final Girl, albeit with one major caveat: if that’s the plan, Ghostface needs to kill Sidney. Without some convoluted way to keep her out of the script, any story involving Tatum being terrorised by a new Ghostface would naturally draw Sidney in, because she would never willingly let her daughter face that horror alone.

My answer? Kill Sidney in the opening. And then have Tatum go after Ghostface. It could make for a fun dynamic shift, where the Ghostface only cared about Sidney and had no interest in Tatum, but the killing sends Tatum down a path of revenge. It could make for an interesting dynamic, and murdering Sid might be the kick in the crotch the series needs at this point. Or it might piss off the fanbase to the point they abandon Scream entirely.

In the end, Scream 7 isn’t a terrible movie. It has a couple of clever ideas and a few entertaining moments. But those ideas never go anywhere interesting, and the film seems strangely unwilling to push itself in any real direction.

Even the messiest entry in the franchise, Scream 3, at least tried to do something different. It swung big and missed a few times, but it had heart. It embodied Ghostface in a lot of ways—full of murderous intent, but prone to tripping over its own robe or stumbling down some stairs.

Scream 7 doesn’t fail because it’s incompetent. It fails because it’s perfectly content to be fine. Just a slasher sequel.

And for a series that once made its name by reinventing the slasher genre, “fine” might be the most disappointing outcome of all.

Dear reader, if you’re still here, thanks for reading and letting me talk about something other than videogames for a minute. If you’d like to see a Scream ranking, let me know!