Against all laws of probability I’ve somehow managed to catch yet another bloody cold. Annoyingly it’s just a few days before I’m due to go visit my sister and little nephew, so hopefully I can just inject some Lucozade straight into my bloodstream and let that sort everything out. I’m pretty that’s a medically sound idea, right?
Once again I have returned to bless you all with some random snippets of news from the past week and my horrendously worded opinions about them! Huzzah! This time Randy Pitchford is in the news again, Ubisoft have announced a new Ghost Recon, John Wick is getting a video game and NetherRealm are investigating accusations of horrible working conditions.
Fighting games are like some sort of detox. After playing game after game where I’m living a power fantasy playing a fighting game can be a slap to the face, a reminder that I’m not as good as I think. One on one there are no excuses. Failure needs to be owned. Lessons must be learned. Inventive swear words must fill the air like so many angry, foul-mouthed bees. And my favourite fighting game series in history is Mortal Kombat. I’ve been playing them since Mortal Kombat 2, and now we’re up to the 11th numbered game in the series. For a while things were rough, but then NetherRealm made an epic comeback in 2011. Since then, Mortal Kombat has been better than ever. But Mortal Kombat 11…well, it’s a little trickier.
My weekend has been filled with violence courtesy of my little niece who firmly believes that beating up her uncle is the greatest thing in the world. Man, five-year-old little girls can seriously do some damage. Jeez.
Hello, and welcome back to Patch Notes! As always I grab a few bits of news from the past week and discuss them. This week we’ve got Borderlands 3, a mini-meltdown from Randy Pitchford and Valve’s brand new VR unit that will not just break your bank, but also leave it crying in a small heap.
Close to the Sun likes to label each of its chapters based on Greek mythology, mentioning characters like Icarus. So let me get a bit posh here and chat about Icarus, too. You’ve probably heard the story: Icarus is the son of Daedalus, the designer of the famous Labyrinth where the Minotaur dwelt. The tale goes that Minos imprisoned Daedalus and Icarus in a tower to keep the secret of the maze safe. The two prisoners used feathers and wax to create wings, and leapt from the tower. Daedalus told his son not to fly too high or else the sun would melt the wax holding his wings together, and not to fly too low which would wet the feathers. But because Icarus was a fucking moron he flew too Close to the Sun (HA!) and his wings melted, thus he fell into the sea and drowned. The end. Close to the Sun tries to fly up to the narrative heights of brilliance but its wings start to melt. So it tries to fly down to the cold depths of horror and nearly drowns. And so Close to the Sun never does find its balance. It never soars high in the sky, nor skims the waves. Jesus, this has turned too philosophical. I need a beer or something. Let’s just review this thing, yeah?
Today I bathed my white German Shepard which is an immense task. I’ve got a small fenced in area which is perfect for the actual bathing part, but once he’s loose in the garden the fun begins. Getting dried is an excuse for him to run around the garden like a freaking lunatic, bouncing off of bushes, skidding around corners and sliding underneath the trees. It took something like three hours to get him bathed, semi-dried and semi-brushed. But he had heaps of fun and proceeded to collapse into a sleepy heap. It’s a hard life being a dog.
The more cities I build, parks I run and businesses I manage it becomes clearer and clearer that I should never be allowed in a position of power. Somehow my ventures always end up in flames, at least three dead donkeys and half the population having been abducted by aliens. Long story. Still, despite my absolute uselessness at planning a city I still love the city-builder genre. I get an immense sense of pride when I finally get everything running just right. So here we are with Anno 1800, the latest in the long-running series. But does it let me cock things up in new and exciting ways?
Considering that World War Z, the film starring Brad Pitt based on the book that didn’t star Brad Pitt, came out waaaaay back in 2013 it seems a tad odd to release an official World War Z videogame some six years later. And yet here we are. But despite being based upon the movie World War Z is much more like a sequel to Left 4 Dead 2 in spirit, if not in name. Also, this doesn’t star Brad Pitt, either.
I’m a little late posting this weeks Patch Notes but in my defence I was away watching Avengers: Endgame and still haven’t really recovered from it. There wasn’t a lot of news that really grabbed my attention this week, so I’m just going to focus on two pieces, both involving Epic! Oh, Epic, you just keep providing so much material.