Reddit truly is an amazing place at times, bringing to the fore fantastic stories from around the world. Today’s highlight comes from the wife of a gamer who a LAN tournament. His prize included a letter from Jack Thompson, a name many will recognize for his terrifying hatred toward not just games, but gamers as well.
The exact details of the tournament are unknown to me, but I’ve included a transcript of the letter from Jack Thompson, Attorney for Florida, as it’s rather difficult to read it in the photo above:
“To Whom it May Concern:
It has been brought to my attention that you have been declared a “CHAMPION GAMER” by the Bellingham LAN Experiment. Congratulations. How many hours has it taken you to practice your murder simulators while cultivating a culture of unspeakable violence? Was it worth it? Feel good about that time?
I’ve also learned that the very contest you have competed in promotes, and I’m not making this up, firing kittens from a cannon. Does it bring you pride that you are among the very best at a simulation based around firing kittens from a cannon? Did the thought ever cross your mind that you would be desensitizing your brain to such behavior? What happens when simulating kitten cannons becomes dull? Isn’t it logical… isn’t it OBVIOUS that someone undertaking such behavior will be more inclined to fire actual live kittens out of actual live cannons?
You and your type makes me physically ill, and I am saddened to be part of a society that rewards your behavior. If I am the only one who sees this infections disease effecting humanity, then I guess it will have to be me that will save it… and don’t think I won’t. I’m very, very close to reversing the disbarral against me in Florida’s courts, and that will only be the beginning.
I don’t know what prize you’ve won for being a “CHAMPION GAMER”, but rest assured that the real prize will take place in the afterlife and involve swimming endless laps in the lake of eternal fire. Meanwhile, I’ll be laughing at you from God’s paradise.
Attorney for Florida
P.S. Tell “David Coffman” and “Nathan Day” to never contact me again. Your whole organization makes me sick.”
This is possibly the most amusing thing I’ve read this year, and I must also say that I’m disappointed that an attorney has such terrible English skills.
Previously Thompson became infamous for his many attempts at bringing down the Grand Theft Auto series, filing several lawsuits against Take Two. He also attempted to ban the sale of Bully, eventually filing a public nuisance complaint, demanding he be allowed to preview the game. Take Two agreed to demonstrate the game to both him and the Judge. The Judge ruled the next day that he saw no reason to limit sales and dismissed the complaint, a decision that Thompson was highly critical of, declaring, “You did not see the game… You don’t even know what it was you saw,” while also accusing the Take Two representative of not showing the game’s most violent aspects.
Thompson would later go on to try to draw attention to the fact that Bully’s main character could kiss other boys. Thompson wrote to the ESRB saying, ” “We just found gay sexual content in Bully as Jimmy Hopkins makes out with another male student. Good luck with your Teen rating now.” The ESRB knew this when they rated the game.
Manhunt was also on Thompson’s target list, but perhaps his finest moment came when in 2006 he wrote to Midway Games, demanding that they cease producing and selling Mortal Kombat: Midway because they were profiting from his likeness. His argument was that players could use the Kreate A Fighter option to produce his likeness.
My problems with the man stem not from his moral stance, since it’s perfectly okay to be against games even if I don’t agree with it, but they way he went around trying to achieve his goals. He was known to fax people porn as evidence, insult judges during court cases and generally behave in a completely unprofessional manner. More importantly, his arguments against games seemed to be groundless, and he demonstrated a disgusting attitude toward those people who enjoyed videogames, arguably failing to treat them as humans.
In 2008 Jack Thompson was disabarred.