As gamers we have fought long and hard to dispel the illusion that we are merely shut-ins living in darkened rooms and guzzling Pepsi while simultaneously attempting to shovel a microwave dinner into our faces. These days gamers are seen as just relatively normal people, albeit with a tendency to try to smash up crates for gold coins and refer to simple chores as quests.
But now GAME seemingly want to destroy our new-found reputation with their unveiling of the truly awful looking Christmas Tinner, which is a full Christmas dinner in a can composed of nine different, horrible layers.
According to the retailer they’ve already tried this…thing out on unwitting fools in Basingstoke and are intending on selling it in stores, should demand prove to be high enough. Should this happen the horror in a tin will cost just £1.99, which could be better spent buying some Jelly Babies. Actually, to be honest, it could be better used by simply hurling it into the ocean.
Apparently the justification, and I use that word lightly, for this…whatever it is, is that lots of people intend on spending Christmas playing videogames, the anti-social buggers. And yes, I’ll be one of ’em, interspersing the time I spend annoying my sister (Christmas tradition) with playing Battlefield 4.
“According to new research almost half (43 per cent) of the nation’s gamers plan to spend the majority of Christmas day playing on their new consoles and games,” said GAME in a statement.
“That’s why retailer GAME has developed the Christmas Tinner, enabling gamers to get their teeth into GAME play all day without having to miss out on a mouthful of their favourite food or do the washing-up.”
The designer of this massacre in metal is Chris Godfrey, a person presumably going to be arrested for creating a biological WMD. He said: “I tried to ensure when creating the menu that all the flavours complemented one another and it was designed so that gamers can eat one layer at a time, starting with breakfast and finishing off with Christmas Pudding – the perfect Christmas Day meal without any of the fuss.”
The weird thing is that as horrible as it looks and sounds I sort of want to try one of this Christmas Tinners just to find out how truly horrible it is. And I want to buy a few to give to my gaming chums.