On Kickstarter the folks behind the long-running web-comic Cyanide & Happiness managed to raise $575,000 for this three episode point and click adventure project over 3-years ago, proving in the process that people will gladly pay good money for dick jokes. “The game will be a new approach to point-and-click adventures, filled with dark comedy, drama, weirdness, and an apocalypse in the suburbs.” That’s some big, bold claims about a genre that’s been around since time began, so does does Cyanide & Happiness: Freakpocolypse manage to live up these promises? Eh, not really.
Category: Videogame Reviews
All the latest videogame reviews from me. Take that how you will.
Sir Lovelot Review – It’s Lovegood, But Not Lovegreat
The titular Sir Lovelot is on an epic quest to find the love of his life. To do that he’s going to venture from tower to tower, gifting the princesses that live within them a flower before climbing up their luxurious hair and getting down to…business. But each morning comes the same story of a broken heart. Perhaps they simply were not compatible, or perhaps Sir Lovelot can’t love good, I’m not judging. Regardless, Sir Lovelot heads out to once again seek the love of his life, and on the way to that love maybe find a few more princesses that need might be inclined to engage in a bit of casual rescuing. Ahem
Nebuchadnezzar Review -More Like NebuchadNAHzzar
Back in the ancient times known as the 90’s the city-builder genre was the shit, and we had loads to choose from. Pharoah, Caeser, Zeus, Stronghold – those are just a few examples of these games, and over the years these ideas have been built upon, modified and occasionally even thrown out the window, giving rise to a whole host of new and awesome titles. But there’s always that urge to go back to the roots of our nostalgia, and that’s exactly what Nebuchadnezzar aims to do.
Cardaclysm Review – A Few Cards Short of a Deck
Cardaclysm describes itself as a “procedurally generated collectible card game mixed with action RPG elements.” That’s one super sexy sentence that gets my motor running, if you know what I mean. Having been in Early Access since early in 2020, Cardaclysm has now fully launched onto Steam, so it it worth the small asking price of just £11.99? It’s time to D-d-d-d-d-d-DUEL!
The Medium Review – Lives Up To Its Name
As the first exclusive game available on Microsoft’s latest consoles, The Medium has been an enticing prospect. It also put a bit of pressure on Bloober Team, the developers of such horror/psychological games as Layers of Fear, Observer and Blair Witch. A lot of eyes were always going to fall on The Medium as people were eager to get a taste of the first exclusive, albeit an exclusive also available on PC due to Microsoft’s business model. So, is The Medium a worthy reason to rush out and buy an Xbox Series S or Series X? No. Not really. And not just because you can’t find any Xbox Series consoles, anyway.
Destruction AllStars Review – Kind Of Forgettable
It’s hard to see how Destruction AllStars was ever being considered as a boxed, £70 launch title for the PS5. It’s such a weird tale: Destruction AllStars to be one of just three PS5 exclusive games available at launch and was perhaps the most potentially exciting as the three considering the other two were a freebie and a remake of a beloved, older game. Destruction AllStars was not only going to be one of just three launch exclusives, but it was also going to be the only brand new IP, the only unknown quantity. But suspicions were raised when nothing of the game was being shown. We knew it was a multiplayer game about wrecking cars in arenas, but that was it. Then it got delayed, and then finally Sony revealed it was going to be free for Playstation Plus subscribers. There’s fun to be had but it feels like someone accidentally deleted a bunch of content from the game and couldn’t get it back. Four arenas, incredibly boring customization and shallow gameplay make this worth £10-15 at most, not £70, although there is at least a solid chassis for developer Lucid Games to build on down the road.
Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World: The Game Review – Not In Lesbians With It
Scott Pilgrim vs. The World: The Game disappeared from sale 10-years ago following licensing issues, and in the process it became the post-child for the potential pitfalls of games only being available digitally. Unless you already owned the game, Scott Pilgrim vs. The World: The Game was simply gone. The side-scrolling brawler based in the hit books and the awesome movie vanished, and yet there were a die-hard few fans who kept hoping, kept wishing that somehow Scott Pilgrim would return. And then somehow it did. Ubisoft announced that Scott Pilgrim vs. The World: The Game would be coming back after 10 long years, this time billed as the Complete Edition, containing all the previously released DLC. 10-years is a long time, though, and things have changed. Can Scott still hold his own in the 2021, beat up his girlfriend’s seven evil exes and win the day?
Hitman 3 Review – Greatest Hits, Man
IO Interactive are back with the final chapter in their World of Assassination trilogy that began back in 2016 as an experimental episodic game. While it’s a tad sad that IO Interactive are leaving Hitman behind, at least, for now, they’re moving on to create a 007 game which I can’t wait to see. So, with Hitman and Hitman 2 being some of my favourite games…well, ever, how does Hitman 3 stack up? Is this the big send-off myself and millions of people were hoping for? Or is a bit like those assassinations that go horribly wrong and end up with you cowering behind a wall?
Helheim Hassle Review – Bjørn To Be Good
In 2016 Perfectly Paranomal gave the world Manual Samuel, an adventure game where the goofy hero was given a chance by Death to live again provided he could go 24-hours doing everything manually. 4-years later, Perfectly Paranormal are back with another unique experience in the form of Helheim Hassle, mixing the weird humour of Manual Samuel with an equally weird gameplay idea: what if you could detach all your limbs and control them? And while Helheim Hassle does actually take place at the same time as Manual Samuel, you don’t need to have ever played Perfectly Paranormal’s Prior work to enjoy this wholly barmy adventure. But is Helheim Hassle worth an arm and a leg? Does it even have a leg to stand on? Can it possibly get ahead of all the competition? Or is it just another h(armless) adventure game? Okay, I’ll stop now.
Cyberpunk 2077 Review – The Best Mess Of 2020
Say what you like about the game itself, there’s no denying that the launch of Cyberpunk 2077 has been anything but dull and is probably the most controversial launch in recent memory. Three delays in 2020 suggested that CD Projekt RED were planning on sticking to their mantra that it would only be launched when it was ready, and given the company’s stellar reputation pre-orders were through the roof with over 8-million copies being sold before it was even playable. And then everything fell apart faster my mental wellbeing after trying to speak to an actual living, breathing, human female. Only PC review code was handed, performance on base consoles is unacceptably bad, Sony removed the game from sale on the Playstation store and CD Projekt RED have managed to dig themselves into a hole so large that future archaeologists are going to assume there was a massive asteroid impact. Either they knew about the game’s horrendous amount of bugs and poor performance and chose to very deliberately keep that information quiet, or they honestly didn’t know how bad things were, in which case they are wholly incompetent. Either way, it doesn’t paint CD Projekt RED in a good light. So, now that we’re a little removed from the initial chaos, let’s review Cyberpunk 2077 on the Playstation 5 and try to figure out whether the game under the mess is any good.