The titular Sir Lovelot is on an epic quest to find the love of his life. To do that he’s going to venture from tower to tower, gifting the princesses that live within them a flower before climbing up their luxurious hair and getting down to…business. But each morning comes the same story of a broken heart. Perhaps they simply were not compatible, or perhaps Sir Lovelot can’t love good, I’m not judging. Regardless, Sir Lovelot heads out to once again seek the love of his life, and on the way to that love maybe find a few more princesses that need might be inclined to engage in a bit of casual rescuing. Ahem
Sup’ my gaming brothers and sisters! Yup, it’s another Weekend Whammy where I spout nonsense and then question all my life choices leading up to this moment in time. I haven’t put out any reviews, so instead I’ll just be jumping straight into the news this week because Sony decided to just go nuts all of a sudden. But I did put out the second part of Best of Xbox Game Pass and thus you should go and read it. Go on. Go do it. Go. GO!
Ah, yes, a Weekend Whammy that isn’t even near the weekend. There wasn’t a lot I felt like saying this week, so I’ll keep this one short. But never sweet.
As I write this I’m watching my 7-year old niece racing around in Forza Horizon 4 using my Logitech steering wheel. She’s just done about a dozen donuts while trying to run over a deer, loudly complaining that they always manage to jump out of her way. A few minutes earlier she screamed at the GPS for telling her to turn right before yelling again because she missed the turn. She’s been cackling like a witch pretty much the entire time, though, so at least she’s having fun. At least, I think she’s having fun. That maniacal laugh is kind of concerning. Maybe I should take her to a vet or something.
IO Interactive are back with the final chapter in their World of Assassination trilogy that began back in 2016 as an experimental episodic game. While it’s a tad sad that IO Interactive are leaving Hitman behind, at least, for now, they’re moving on to create a 007 game which I can’t wait to see. So, with Hitman and Hitman 2 being some of my favourite games…well, ever, how does Hitman 3 stack up? Is this the big send-off myself and millions of people were hoping for? Or is a bit like those assassinations that go horribly wrong and end up with you cowering behind a wall?
Ah, the power of free stuff. There have been some pretty amazing months on both PSN and Xbox Live Gold when it comes to freebies, all acting as a nice little bonus. But February’s line-up of free titles on PSN might be one of the strongest we’ve gotten thanks to Sony announcing a trio of kick-ass games. These will be going up on the 2nd of February, so remember to add them to your download queue even if you don’t intend on playing them just yet, that way they’ll be added to your library and you can download them whenever you want.
In 2016 Perfectly Paranomal gave the world Manual Samuel, an adventure game where the goofy hero was given a chance by Death to live again provided he could go 24-hours doing everything manually. 4-years later, Perfectly Paranormal are back with another unique experience in the form of Helheim Hassle, mixing the weird humour of Manual Samuel with an equally weird gameplay idea: what if you could detach all your limbs and control them? And while Helheim Hassle does actually take place at the same time as Manual Samuel, you don’t need to have ever played Perfectly Paranormal’s Prior work to enjoy this wholly barmy adventure. But is Helheim Hassle worth an arm and a leg? Does it even have a leg to stand on? Can it possibly get ahead of all the competition? Or is it just another h(armless) adventure game? Okay, I’ll stop now.
Say what you like about the game itself, there’s no denying that the launch of Cyberpunk 2077 has been anything but dull and is probably the most controversial launch in recent memory. Three delays in 2020 suggested that CD Projekt RED were planning on sticking to their mantra that it would only be launched when it was ready, and given the company’s stellar reputation pre-orders were through the roof with over 8-million copies being sold before it was even playable. And then everything fell apart faster my mental wellbeing after trying to speak to an actual living, breathing, human female. Only PC review code was handed, performance on base consoles is unacceptably bad, Sony removed the game from sale on the Playstation store and CD Projekt RED have managed to dig themselves into a hole so large that future archaeologists are going to assume there was a massive asteroid impact. Either they knew about the game’s horrendous amount of bugs and poor performance and chose to very deliberately keep that information quiet, or they honestly didn’t know how bad things were, in which case they are wholly incompetent. Either way, it doesn’t paint CD Projekt RED in a good light. So, now that we’re a little removed from the initial chaos, let’s review Cyberpunk 2077 on the Playstation 5 and try to figure out whether the game under the mess is any good.
With Codemasters being bought by Take-Two for a substantial £750-million ( a deal due to the be finalised in Q1 of 2021) it looks like we can expect more annual DiRT, GRID and F1 games since that’s a major part of Take-Two’s business plan. It should provide Codemaster’s with more financial security, but will it possibly lock them into doing nothing more than annualised franchises? Which is what they do now, really, so I guess nothing will change. The point is, DIRT 5 will likely be the last game to come from Codemaster’s without also being under the considerable shadow of Take-Two, so is DIRT 5 a suitable goodbye to Codies in their current form?
Back during the days of the Playstation 2, the cheerful, charming mascot platformer was all the rage, from Spyro the Dragon to Crash Bandicoot, both of which have gotten remastered or remade. These days the cutesy platformer isn’t as popular as it once was, but every now and then a new one turns up and tickles the ol’ nostalgia balls. This time it’s Pumpkin Jack, a game that feels so much like a classic PS2 platformer that you could tell me it was actually just a remaster and I’d believe you. In fact, it’s so enamoured with evoking the spirit of those old platformers that it even has iffy combat and a naff story, just like them. So, let’s review Pumpkin Jack, the bastard offspring of MediEvil and A Nightmare Before Christmas.