There’s a moment in John Wick after the titular badass has decimated several attackers who made the idiotic mistake of invading his home. With bodies littering the floor and blood soaking into the carpet, Wick makes a call to contacts from his previous life. Minutes later, a clean-up crew arrives to drag the corpses away and freshen the place up. It’s the job of unsung heroes (?) and has frequently made me question if such a thing exists in other action movies. How often do we see a building full of bodies left behind after an action sequence? Surely they don’t just get left there, right? Even in real life, do the mob have cleanup crews that hide the evidence? According to Serial Cleaners, the answer is yes, and they’re so damn good at their job they can even clean up a crime scene while the cops are are busy investigating it.
The massive monstrosity that is the Embracer Group continues to gobble up more and more developers and intellectual properties, and regardless of how you feel about that one good thing has come of it; a willingness to mine their extensive catalogue via remasters and remakes, many of which seem to designed to test whether there’s an audience for a brand new game. In 2020, Black Forest released their remake/remaster of Destroy All Humans, a cult classic from the Playstation 2 days where you played as an alien invading Earth. Now, the much-beloved sequel has gotten the same treatment from Black Forest, making me wonder if we might finally get to see Destroy All Humans 3. That’s the future, though – let’s focus on the here and now; is Destroy All Humans 2: Reprobed still fun in 2022 and has Black Forest done it justice?
Two Point Campus is built on the very same foundations that the excellent Two Point Hospital was. In fact, it does feel a lot like Two Point Games slapped a new theme on their hospital management game and called it a day. That’s an oversimplification, of course – a lot of work has gone into Two Point Campus, it’s themes and a few new mechanics. But it’s important to temper your expectations going into this second entry in the growing Two Point County universe because if you do then you’ll discover another satisfying, enjoyable management title with plenty of fun changes under the hood. If you want the shortest possible review, then here it is in all of its cliched glory: if you liked Two Point Hospital, you’ll probably like Two Point Campus.
I’m not a cat person but I can’t deny how fascinating they are. They are creatures of contradictions, leaping from one behaviour to the next like a bipolar sufferer on a freaking pogo stick. One minute they are affectionate and loving, the next they want to murder your face and burn down your house. They can be fiercely independent and willing to completely ignore your existence, and then two minutes later they become needy little bastards who won’t even let you go to the bathroom alone. They’re astonishing, they really are. And now a cat is a star of this fantastic new indie title called Stray that has taken the Internet by storm, mostly because of people posting videos showing their own cat entranced by their digital facsim
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Shredder’s Revenge is kind of like a remaster, remake and entirely new game, all at the same time. It takes stages, ideas and other elements from the classic TMNT arcade games and mashes them together with some modern sensibilities. It’s like asking the pizzeria to take all the possible toppings and throw them on the pizza, but instead of some hideous gloopy mess that tastes like Master Splinter’s backside, you end up with a great pie. Cowabunga, dudes!
This foray into the bug extermination by Slitherine isn’t based on the original book that was published in 1959. Hell, the fact that there even was a book will probably surprise a lot of people. I’m glad that developer Artistocrats chose to focus on the movie, though, because while I do usually hold that films based on books are typically inferior to their source material, in this instance I firmly believe the movie to be vastly superior to the pen and paper version. Plus, the movie is far more commonly known, although as much of a cult following as it has, the Starship Troopers name doesn’t have huge appeal. When I was a kid, Starship Troopers was a goofy, gory action flick, but as I grew up and rewatched it I started to notice its tongue-in-cheek humour and its emphasis on war propaganda. It’s a great movie and you should absolutely go and watch it. Although you certainly don’t need to have seen the film to enjoy this tight, fun little RTS, without the context the movie provides you might be left wondering if the game is being completely serious or if it’s taking the mickey. It’s the second one, in case you didn’t figure it out.
The world’s foremost socially distancing testicle surgeon is back to ensure there will never be any Nazi offspring. Yes, it’s Sniper Elite 5, a double-A series that has, over the years, somehow managed to sneak its way into my heart. Although they may be janky, there’s a charm and sense of fun to the Sniper Elite series that makes it hugely endearing. And having absorbed even more of the Hitman vibe, Sniper Elite 5 is, in many ways, the best one yet. But there are a few badly aimed shots, too. So grab a rifle, zero in the scope, take a deep breath and….grab a cup of coffee. And put the rifle back down, you’ll take someone’s testicles out with that thing. Yeesh.
Going through the cave was probably a mistake. War was declared and by the suggestion of the King’s right-hand sorcerer, the shining paragon of heroism, Brigard, took his forces through a cave system in a bid to surprise the enemy, but a cave-in leaves the army stranded underground with no hope of rescue. Salvation appears in the form of a Valkyrie who descends from the heavens to inform Brigard and his loyal soldiers that they are dying and that she is here to lead them to the promised land. Instead, you all get trapped in Terragaya, neither dead nor alive but somewhere in the middle. The solution is to find the Guardian, solve the mystery of your alleged death and maybe get the lyrics to I’ve Got Soul But I’m Not A Soldier by The Killers out of your head. Or is that just me?
Milestone has created an interesting place for themselves in the racing market as purveyors of completely okay games. They lack the presentation and flair of Codemaster’s franchises or Microsoft’s Forza titles, and always seem to be on the precipice of greatness without ever quite reaching it. Arguably their biggest franchise, MotoGP games launch every year and find a solid audience, but like most annual releases each new game struggles to justify its existence. But as someone who tends to jump back in every few years the changes tend to be more pronounced. So let’s check out MotoGP 22 and see what’s new, shall we?
Ye olde London was not a nice place. Grime, dirt and detritus covered the streets, smog hung in the air, hygiene was more of a myth than reality and people disappeared on a fairly regular basis due to being pressganged, walking down the wrong alley, drunkenly stumbling into the ocean or any number of delightfully degrading deaths,. Living day to day was a hardship for the common people, made all the harder by the absurd cost of meat. But…humans are meat, right? Seems like a prime business opportunity. Cue the Ravenous Devils, Hildred and Percival, and their lives of butchery and business management.