There’s a moment in John Wick after the titular badass has decimated several attackers who made the idiotic mistake of invading his home. With bodies littering the floor and blood soaking into the carpet, Wick makes a call to contacts from his previous life. Minutes later, a clean-up crew arrives to drag the corpses away and freshen the place up. It’s the job of unsung heroes (?) and has frequently made me question if such a thing exists in other action movies. How often do we see a building full of bodies left behind after an action sequence? Surely they don’t just get left there, right? Even in real life, do the mob have cleanup crews that hide the evidence? According to Serial Cleaners, the answer is yes, and they’re so damn good at their job they can even clean up a crime scene while the cops are are busy investigating it.
Gamepass is already one hell of a value proposition, which is exactly why people continue to debate whether it actually earns Microsoft any profit or if it’s an unsustainable model kept afloat by Microsoft’s vast cash reserves. Either way, for us gamers it is an almost absurd deal. And in that absurdity is even more insane value: The Hitman Trilogy, combining the World of Assassination trilogy from IO Interactive into one massive package boasting 20 levels with some of the best replay value around. Even if you just play around once or twice in a level you could easily spend a few hours in it, but if you’re like me that just isn’t enough and dozens upon dozens of hours later you might finally wrap up your career as Hitman.
The massive monstrosity that is the Embracer Group continues to gobble up more and more developers and intellectual properties, and regardless of how you feel about that one good thing has come of it; a willingness to mine their extensive catalogue via remasters and remakes, many of which seem to designed to test whether there’s an audience for a brand new game. In 2020, Black Forest released their remake/remaster of Destroy All Humans, a cult classic from the Playstation 2 days where you played as an alien invading Earth. Now, the much-beloved sequel has gotten the same treatment from Black Forest, making me wonder if we might finally get to see Destroy All Humans 3. That’s the future, though – let’s focus on the here and now; is Destroy All Humans 2: Reprobed still fun in 2022 and has Black Forest done it justice?
As a Scotsman born and raised, there is no fate I would dread more than being cursed to play the game of golf forever. And yet this is the premise of Cursed to Golf, a roguelike 2D recreation of the sport where you have to work your way through 18 holes of golf purgatory, having been cast down there due to being struck by lightning during a golf tournament. I have no idea if this is a common occurrence during golf, but if it is I might actually start watching the sport. So, is Cursed to Golf a hole in one, or a bogey? Let’s find out.
Two Point Campus is built on the very same foundations that the excellent Two Point Hospital was. In fact, it does feel a lot like Two Point Games slapped a new theme on their hospital management game and called it a day. That’s an oversimplification, of course – a lot of work has gone into Two Point Campus, it’s themes and a few new mechanics. But it’s important to temper your expectations going into this second entry in the growing Two Point County universe because if you do then you’ll discover another satisfying, enjoyable management title with plenty of fun changes under the hood. If you want the shortest possible review, then here it is in all of its cliched glory: if you liked Two Point Hospital, you’ll probably like Two Point Campus.
Thrustmaster is a venerable name in the gaming space, purveying all manner of racing wheels, joysticks and accessories. At an RRP pf £299.99, the Thrustmaster T248 racing wheel is the company’s latest entry-level model, and it’s in for a tough fight for the podium. That price bracket includes a lot of cool wheels, including my own Logitech G290 0which I’ll be comparing it against quite heavily. And with the release of the new F1 2022, what better time to consider grabbing a wheel and seeing how quickly you can smash into Lewis Hamilton?
The world’s foremost socially distancing testicle surgeon is back to ensure there will never be any Nazi offspring. Yes, it’s Sniper Elite 5, a double-A series that has, over the years, somehow managed to sneak its way into my heart. Although they may be janky, there’s a charm and sense of fun to the Sniper Elite series that makes it hugely endearing. And having absorbed even more of the Hitman vibe, Sniper Elite 5 is, in many ways, the best one yet. But there are a few badly aimed shots, too. So grab a rifle, zero in the scope, take a deep breath and….grab a cup of coffee. And put the rifle back down, you’ll take someone’s testicles out with that thing. Yeesh.
Going through the cave was probably a mistake. War was declared and by the suggestion of the King’s right-hand sorcerer, the shining paragon of heroism, Brigard, took his forces through a cave system in a bid to surprise the enemy, but a cave-in leaves the army stranded underground with no hope of rescue. Salvation appears in the form of a Valkyrie who descends from the heavens to inform Brigard and his loyal soldiers that they are dying and that she is here to lead them to the promised land. Instead, you all get trapped in Terragaya, neither dead nor alive but somewhere in the middle. The solution is to find the Guardian, solve the mystery of your alleged death and maybe get the lyrics to I’ve Got Soul But I’m Not A Soldier by The Killers out of your head. Or is that just me?
Ye olde London was not a nice place. Grime, dirt and detritus covered the streets, smog hung in the air, hygiene was more of a myth than reality and people disappeared on a fairly regular basis due to being pressganged, walking down the wrong alley, drunkenly stumbling into the ocean or any number of delightfully degrading deaths,. Living day to day was a hardship for the common people, made all the harder by the absurd cost of meat. But…humans are meat, right? Seems like a prime business opportunity. Cue the Ravenous Devils, Hildred and Percival, and their lives of butchery and business management.
Probably every review of Tiny Tina’s Wonderlands is going to refer to this game as being Borderlands with a coat of Dungeons & Dragons paint. But as unoriginal as that might sound, it’s also an incredibly accurate statement that explains everything about the game that you need to know. This is essentially a reskin of Borderlands 3, and with that comes a lot of good and a fair bit of not so good. The shooting and looting loop is excellent and the humour is much stronger than it was in the previous game. But on the other hand, the structure of the game has barely changed since the original Borderlands and there’s a strong sense Gearbox needs to think about how to evolve their missions designs. In short, if you still love Borderlands and have a soft spot for fantasy then this is going to be for you. And if Borderlands is starting to grind your gears, it’s best avoided. Me? I fall firmly into the first camp.