The titular Sir Lovelot is on an epic quest to find the love of his life. To do that he’s going to venture from tower to tower, gifting the princesses that live within them a flower before climbing up their luxurious hair and getting down to…business. But each morning comes the same story of a broken heart. Perhaps they simply were not compatible, or perhaps Sir Lovelot can’t love good, I’m not judging. Regardless, Sir Lovelot heads out to once again seek the love of his life, and on the way to that love maybe find a few more princesses that might be inclined to engage in a bit of casual rescuing. Ahem.
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One thing is for sure, Sir Lovelot is very dedicated when it comes to getting a little action as he has to dodge, jump, dash and shoot his way through death traps that would make Indiana Jones contemplate a career change. His moves consist of a double jump, a small dash, sliding down walls, hopping up walls and firing some sort of weapon which I can only assume is magical. The obstacles that stand between Sir Lovelot and his pursuit of some hot loving are familiar; saws that move, swinging scythes, projectiles fired across your path, moving platforms, levers and enemies placed in the exact spot you need to jump to.
The key to any game claiming to be a precision platformer is the controls. They need to be responsive, feel good and must be accurate, otherwise, you risk the player feeling like a failure is the game’s fault and not theirs. I’m more than happy to report, then, that Sir Lovelot nails its controls and general feel. It’s fun to play and when you nail a tricky jump it feels great. Getting to the end of a level is properly satisfying as if you’ve just run a sprint race where all the health and safety people took the day off.
The level design is solid, too. It’s never as horrifyingly difficult and soul-destroying as something like SuperMeat Boy, but it’s also still reasonably challenging in places. You’re going to die a fair few times since Sir Lovelot can only take a single hit (does that mean spanking is out of the question in those towers?) and yet even at my very worst moments I never grew frustrated or overly annoyed with the game because I knew a few more attempts would probably yield success. I appreciate how levels typically have hidden shortcuts you can find, and how there are jumps and gaps that you can pull off if you’re especially precise. Which I’m not, so mostly I just leapt to my death while cursing the God of Platforming for failing to give me the proper skills required.
To complete a level you only need to find the flower and then reach the princesses’ tower whereupon you present her with the aforementioned blossom and clamber through her window for a night of sweet, sweet rumpy-pumpy. Or maybe just some cuddling. I mean, it’s not like we get to see into the towers so maybe they’re having a few glasses of wine and getting to know each other, right? Anyway, aside from the flower of sexual power there are bonus items to collect, including hidden geese and golden coins. These all contribute to your final completion percentage on a level, as well as your score.
The developers have missed a trick, though. Despite the fact that after each level you’re shown your completion time, percentage of collectibles and a score, there’s no leaderboards to be found. A game like this is perfect for speedruns and for competing against your so-called friends, so it feels like a bit mistake not include some form of leaderboards for players to fight over. How the hell am I supposed to know how much I suck now!?
Every few levels the game throws in something new, like underwater sections or a new type of enemy that needs to be shot or leapt over. However, the game never goes far enough to become truly great. It’s never as utterly gripping as some of the hardest platformers, never coming close to those glorious moments where you’re practically cracking the controller, eyes bulging and sweat pouring from your forehead. Finishing a level in Sir Lovelot is satisfying, sure, but it’s not the same level of pure orgasm inducing elation. Nor do the little tweaks introduced into the levels really do much to take the game to that next level, mechanically. Sir Lovelot does what it does well, but it doesn’t do anything special or exciting.
The £7.99 asking price nets you a set of levels that will likely take you around 2-hours to beat, although if your a veteran of the genre that time will probably be much shorter. Of course, you’ll get a lot more time out of it if you feel like going back and replaying levels to improve your score, although again without leaderboards I think a lot of people won’t see much reason, too.
As for the graphics, there’s not too much to say. Sir Lovelot looks good, but the market is flooded with pixelated graphics and it really takes a special art style to standout from the crowd which Sir Lovelot doesn’t have. There are a couple of nice enemy designs and a few good touches in the environments such as creepy trees swaying in the wood, but ultimately it’s forgettable stuff.
Sir Lovelot is a fun, well-designed precision platformer with a funny premise and tight controls. It never manages to platform its way up to the upper echelons of brilliance where the greatest examples of the genre are busy lounging around. But at £7.99 its hard to complain about that too much because you’re still getting a competent, enjoyable platformer that’s more relaxed and forgiving than something like Celeste or Super Meat Boy. Personally, I think that’s a good thing because Super Meat Boy makes me want to smash my computer and live out the rest of my life as a monk.